Cult of Speed: Green Man is Responsible!
Green Man
As the Slow Down London Festival approaches, I thought it might be appropriate to consider some of the culprits of our speedy society. And here it is: the apparently benign and dependable Green Man is one of the worst offenders!
He always appears in the distance when you’re approaching a crossing, egging you on to make a dash for it. You could just get there comfortably in your own time but his goading presence tempts you to quicken your step. Green lights are just as bad if you’re in the car or on a bike, but lights are lights and men are men – they should know better.
Also some Green Men last longer than others, have you noticed that? Some of them give you long enough to cross there and back and stop for a sandwich on the way, whereas others are flashing away impatiently before you’ve even made it to the middle. Old people and those who have difficulty walking are basically screwed.
And what of the Red Man – why doesn’t he get the respect he deserves? Because he’s dull and unpromising, that’s why. In comparison to the laissez-faire licentiousness of the Green Man. I mean, which one would you invite to your dinner party? Hardly the Red Man. He’d be sat in a corner complaining of indigestion. And yet what sort of a guest would the Green Man make, always rushing off somewhere and enticing your other guests to do the same?
Perhaps it’s time we gave the Red Man a chance. He’s had time to stand and survey the world, to take it all in. Don’t let’s be put off by his redness – it’s probably just an unfortunate skin condition. Beneath his rather severe surface lurks a kindly soul who just wants to keep you safe.
Annalie Wilson
